As the parent of a middle schooler, I'm right at the moment where most kids get smartphones, and fear of all that's written in this article and more has kept me holding the line on --no phone--. Then, my son's former principal gave me some hard hitting advice: "You can keep him from them, let him be singled out as the only kid without one, and watch him use all his resources to get access anyways. OR, you could get him a phone and make it a partnership. Teach him, slowly and intentionally, what each aspect of this technology is, what it can do, what the research shows, how it can hurt you and others, how it can help... and you normalize that he will make mistakes, fall victim to advertising and algorithms, feel the urge for likes, believe fake news and so on. Make it safe for him to learn this world and ask you questions. When he gets older, and kids are using AI to write papers and take notes, make sure he experiences the value of his brain of doing that himself. Rather than tell him what's bad, show him what's good." And that's just about the best parenting advice I've ever gotten. So yes, existentially terrified over here, but there's some solace in knowing that some huge part of the answer is loving the heck out of our kids, and raising our own game (we, the generation that created this mess) on how we teach them the paths to happiness and the obstacles we know they will face on the way.
Thanks for writing this -- important for us all to think about!
The combo of the pandemic + a smart phone was pretty disastrous for the mental health of my oldest kid. Trying to the put the genie back in the bottle is a very tricky business. I am truly hoping for a corrective pendulum swing but humans have never been super successful at overcoming addictions. I like what I heard Haidt say about shifting cultural norms being much for effective than individual solutions.
I don't think technology has reduced us to zombies as long as we can read a post like this and recognize the truth of what you're saying. That our smart phones are little Trojan horses in our pockets cannot be overstated and might just - if we really take that in - lead us to be less enthralled by them. It's powerful to see SG Murthy's advisory warning, the social connectedness data, and the impact of unhappiness on voting behavior laid out in short order! I also really appreciate your casting social and community structures as democracy's immune system because they are. Can't wait to see what you write in the next post! I think we can change this trajectory, and it'll probably require some kind of overhaul of social technology. But I don't think anything really changes until we see human to human connection as more important than likes on social media.
This is perhaps the most important issue is our times - thank you for soliciting us to engage as a community in this topic. I have found a horrific accelerant to this madness - the more stressed, anxious and depressed people become the more they seek an escape. Overeating, substance abuse and other such escapes (all also on the rise in our times) come with some social stigma. But I have found myself sitting with perfectly “healthy” and “polite” company and have observed them checking their phones, scrolling, responding to a ping of some kind and no one in the group (other than me it seems) is offended or alarmed by their lack of presence with the people around them.
Such an important set of thoughts. I can only imagine how all this gets amplified once AI is even more in the mix, so it's good that you're helping us all think constructively about this now.
Wow this is such a timely and critical piece as we raise our daughter. The world of technology is here to stay and has a lot of beauty for the advancements it affords us. And at the same time, the impact on mental and social health is real for all of us, especially our children. What does it look like to pull forward the best of it without letting it consume our hearts and minds?
As the parent of a middle schooler, I'm right at the moment where most kids get smartphones, and fear of all that's written in this article and more has kept me holding the line on --no phone--. Then, my son's former principal gave me some hard hitting advice: "You can keep him from them, let him be singled out as the only kid without one, and watch him use all his resources to get access anyways. OR, you could get him a phone and make it a partnership. Teach him, slowly and intentionally, what each aspect of this technology is, what it can do, what the research shows, how it can hurt you and others, how it can help... and you normalize that he will make mistakes, fall victim to advertising and algorithms, feel the urge for likes, believe fake news and so on. Make it safe for him to learn this world and ask you questions. When he gets older, and kids are using AI to write papers and take notes, make sure he experiences the value of his brain of doing that himself. Rather than tell him what's bad, show him what's good." And that's just about the best parenting advice I've ever gotten. So yes, existentially terrified over here, but there's some solace in knowing that some huge part of the answer is loving the heck out of our kids, and raising our own game (we, the generation that created this mess) on how we teach them the paths to happiness and the obstacles we know they will face on the way.
Thanks for writing this -- important for us all to think about!
The combo of the pandemic + a smart phone was pretty disastrous for the mental health of my oldest kid. Trying to the put the genie back in the bottle is a very tricky business. I am truly hoping for a corrective pendulum swing but humans have never been super successful at overcoming addictions. I like what I heard Haidt say about shifting cultural norms being much for effective than individual solutions.
I don't think technology has reduced us to zombies as long as we can read a post like this and recognize the truth of what you're saying. That our smart phones are little Trojan horses in our pockets cannot be overstated and might just - if we really take that in - lead us to be less enthralled by them. It's powerful to see SG Murthy's advisory warning, the social connectedness data, and the impact of unhappiness on voting behavior laid out in short order! I also really appreciate your casting social and community structures as democracy's immune system because they are. Can't wait to see what you write in the next post! I think we can change this trajectory, and it'll probably require some kind of overhaul of social technology. But I don't think anything really changes until we see human to human connection as more important than likes on social media.
This is perhaps the most important issue is our times - thank you for soliciting us to engage as a community in this topic. I have found a horrific accelerant to this madness - the more stressed, anxious and depressed people become the more they seek an escape. Overeating, substance abuse and other such escapes (all also on the rise in our times) come with some social stigma. But I have found myself sitting with perfectly “healthy” and “polite” company and have observed them checking their phones, scrolling, responding to a ping of some kind and no one in the group (other than me it seems) is offended or alarmed by their lack of presence with the people around them.
Such an important set of thoughts. I can only imagine how all this gets amplified once AI is even more in the mix, so it's good that you're helping us all think constructively about this now.
Diana, so happy to see you posting here. The world desperately needs your voice. Brava!
Wow this is such a timely and critical piece as we raise our daughter. The world of technology is here to stay and has a lot of beauty for the advancements it affords us. And at the same time, the impact on mental and social health is real for all of us, especially our children. What does it look like to pull forward the best of it without letting it consume our hearts and minds?
The social isolation and disconnection that is generated by the power and control of technology is an important level of change in the world.
And from what I have seen since returning to the Boston area from the desert, the grip of technology is unstoppable.
That includes automated programs for validating emails and making comments to articles like this one ;-)
At the same time, seers tell us that a more beautiful and complex reality is also coming into the world - from deeper levels of the unseen.
And they say that as old structures fall away, we will find stability in what is emerging fresh and new in the world.
Yet how many of us have a capacity to listen and respond to the origin of what we are, at the expense of our wants and needs?
The world can offer some of us security in lifestyle like never before, even as the world become more unstable, so we are in for a wild ride.